Today's lesson....
The Metro Underground transport system.
1. The word "Uscita" and an arrow is not a direction to the loo despite being pronounced "you-schitta"
2.Its not necessary to make friends with the people you travel with, even it is a short journey.They really don't care where your from, or how many stars your hotel has.Save the life story for your waiter at dinner. He won't care either but it will mean fast table service.
3. Learn to say "I'm sorry"(mio diaspiache)and "please"(per favore) and "bathroom"(bagne) in Italian. Essential for your well being...there's always time for manners
4.Have a hankie with perfume tucked in your sleeve...no details needed here just trust me you will need it for rail travel...also tissues... there's is seldom toot paper here!
5.If you do something dumb, say your American...it saves our reputation and reinforces theirs.
And some Metro signs translated for you.
1. If you try and open the door with your fingers, red laser beeams will shoot at you.
2.Doing the splits in the doorway will result in groinal injury.
3. If you see a coin between the train and the platform don't look, its a trick designed to trap your head. No Apologies!
4.Passing wind on a train is dangerous, and not just from the other passengers.
Hope that was helpful and may make your journey to italy a little smoother.
Arriva Derci!
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